And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
