do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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