He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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