you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
