i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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