She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
