hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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