shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
you had me at cake vodka
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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