even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
