take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize