Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Couch. On fire.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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