Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
