Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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