she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
