the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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