So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
