you win again, gameday.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
