I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
