I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
