ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
