Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
