Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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