I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
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I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
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what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
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