You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Even my vagina gasped.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
