I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
