Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
