I hate all girls vehemently.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
