ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
