Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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