if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
