i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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