I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Sex in the backyard? Check.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
