its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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