My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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