Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
