I'm jealous of your bromance
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
