ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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