PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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