Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you mean i was at the winter classic?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize