Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize