Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize