I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Randomize
