THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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