i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
