you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
honey bunches of taint.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
They are going to name an STD after you.
Randomize
