these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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