bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
