Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
