Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
