I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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