Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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