You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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