I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize
