No period for spring break; use this wisely.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
