the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
