Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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