The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
