Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Sorry about my life...
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
